Desperate for You Read online

  “Ay, honey I have to look at my schedule for that day. I know it sounds cruel but I just have so much work lately. I need to make sure these deals go through. I’ll let you know tomorrow. And how was my angel Alyssa today? I saw her this morning. She looks so much like you, Jennifer.”

  Roberto wanted to change the subject since he didn’t want to start a discussion with Jennifer. Jennifer caught it right away but she wasn’t going to give in.

  “Roberto, for the last four weeks you’ve been coming home late. Is it necessary for you to spend so much time away from your home? We’ve only been here for a short time and yet it doesn’t look like you live here? This was supposed to be our dream home Roberto. I wanted it so we could spend time together with our children. This was just not for me; it was for all of us. It was for you, for me, for Robert, and for Alyssa. But you seem to be the one that spends the least amount of time here. All you do is go to sleep, get up in the morning, take a shower, eat breakfast and leave. You repeat the same routine every day. We don’t get to have dinner together as a family anymore. Don’t you see how this is affecting us?”

  Roberto was taken by surprise. He didn’t expect Jennifer to react this way. They had never had disagreements before. The last thing he wanted was to get Jennifer upset over this.

  “Jennifer, you’re being very unreasonable. You know that I’ve had to focus more on business these past weeks. It’s not fair that you’re accusing me of abandoning the family. On the contrary, I’m doing this so we can maintain our standard of living. You have to support me during this time. Don’t think it’s easy for me to be away from the family for so long. I mean, what do you want me to do?”

  “I understand that you have to tend to your business. But isn’t that why you have managers at all locations? These managers have worked for you for many years. Don’t you trust them with making sound decisions? Can’t they take your place on some of these meetings so you can spend more time with your family?”

  “Jennifer, let’s continue this in the morning. I am too tired right now and you’re obviously upset. We’re not going to be able to sleep if we continue discussing. You need to understand my situation. Jennifer, I love you too much. Just give me some time to finalize this deal and I guarantee you that things will be back to normal. Okay, honey?”

  “That’s right, you always win. You always get your way. I have needs too Roberto. I’m your wife and I need to feel loved and appreciated. Your children need their father. They need to feel that you love them and care for them. You’re focusing on the wrong things. Your family needs you. I need you. Don’t you understand that?”

  Roberto put on his pajamas and went inside the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and washed his face. Jennifer started crying in bed, and turned to the side so Roberto wouldn’t see her. He came back to the bed and was going to kiss her but changed his mind.

  Chapter Two

  A few days later Jennifer called Monika to tell her about Enrique’s special request. She wanted to know how Monika was able to convince her husband to hire Enrique. Monika, sensing that Jennifer was worried suggested they get together for brunch. Knowing full well that Jennifer loved gourmet coffee and pastries she suggested they meet at La Madeleine, a French bakery on Broadway Street.

  Jennifer had a vanilla cappuccino with a ham and cheese quiche. Monika had an iced mocha with a grilled chicken sandwich.

  “Monika, with your husband’s prominence how were you able to convince him to hire Enrique?”

  “Well, Jennifer I didn’t have to do much convincing at all. You see my husband and I grew up in a different era and culture than you. We have a bit of rebelliousness in us. We’re also very open-minded and he trusts me with all of my decisions. I never have to ask for his permission on anything. It’s the American way, chica. Roberto needs to change his machista ways. My husband comes from a very prominent family in Laredo and I was raised in McAllen. We’ve always had it all.”

  “Monika, I envy you so much. You and your husband really have it together. I need to add more excitement to my life. I’m too much of a traditional wife and I need to liberate myself. I’m finding I’m in the minority when it comes to traditional marriages.”

  “Let me tell you something Jennifer. You’re still very young and you married into money. Your mother did a good job in raising you, because I can see that you have high moral standards. But in this world in order to get what you want, sometimes you have to break the rules. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a poor maid or a millionaire. We all want things to go our way. And when they don’t happen exactly the way we planned, we simply try another way, until they do. Of course it’s easier for us because we have money. Money rules the world. We’re in a position where we can control others because of our money. I guess we have it in our blood. In your native Mexico they call it la mordida. How appropriate, don’t you think? Every time we pay someone for doing us a favor, it takes a small bite out of our fortunes.” Monika burst into a mocking laughter.

  “I can see that it was no problem for you in hiring Enrique. But I’m afraid it’s not going to be so easy for me. You know how strict Roberto is with everything. And if he notices that Enrique is a hunk, well let’s not even go there. I guess I’m going to have to settle for another type of kitchen.”

  “Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer. What did I just finish telling you? If you want this kitchen so badly then you’ll fight for it, my dear. But you’re used to getting everything you want anyway, aren’t you? I don’t think you’ll have a problem convincing Roberto that this is what you want.”

  “But you don’t understand Monika. Roberto and I haven’t been the same lately. Ever since we moved to the new house his behavior has changed. He’s been coming home late for the last four weeks. The children don’t get to see him as often. I mean, I don’t even feel like I’m his wife anymore. He wants to buy a shopping center but the owners are giving him a hard time. He’s constantly meeting with them and he comes home tired. This wasn’t the way our married life was supposed to be.” Monika was surprised at Jennifer’s revelation.

  “Oh dear, I can’t believe the spark is already gone from your marriage. You’re such a lovely girl but you are so naïve. I see the problem being the way your mother raised you. She raised you to be a proper lady and to be the proper wife. Did your mother ever sit down with you and talk to you about the realities of life? Did she tell you about the importance of knowing how to please your husband?”

  “Of course she did. But I’m a woman now and my mami has nothing to do with my needs or my sexual appetite. Roberto gets home late and, well.” Jennifer didn’t want Monika to know that she and Roberto had not made love in a long time.

  “Jennifer, darling men have a special need. Men have a need to conquer the world! But men also have a need to conquer women. The sexual drive is what leads men to make fools of themselves. But it’s also what motivates them to succeed. Men look at women as an object of momentary pleasure. Once that object ceases to please them, they move on to the next one. It’s a wild game, but it’s a fact of life. When a man conquers a woman sexually he feels like he has just won the World Cup. This motivates him to go out into the world and he feels he can conquer anything else. They are naturally that way and it’s something we women have to accept. I assume you know that before you married Roberto he had many women. A man of his status just cannot go through life without satisfying his sexual need.”

  All of sudden Jennifer understood what Monika was trying to tell her. Was Roberto having an affair or did he already have a mistress? Roberto was making love to another woman and then coming home to her? No, this couldn’t be happening to her.

  “Jennifer, honey are you okay?

  “Yes, Monika I’m fine. I guess I’m shocked by what you just told me. I never once thought that Roberto would think of having an affair with another woman. I mean, I thought our marriage would be different. That he would respect me knowing what type of woman I am. I have to disagree with you Monika. Rober
to is tending to business during this time.

  “Every night for four weeks he’s been coming home late? I don’t think so, Jennifer. There’s something wrong with that picture. Can I ask you a very personal question?”

  “Yes, go ahead?”

  “How often do you and Roberto make love?”

  “Well, I’m not so sure I want to tell you something like that. Our relationship has never been this open. But again, you always seem to get me to open up anyway.”

  “Jennifer, once again, how often do you and Roberto make love?”

  Tears starting building inside Jennifer’s beautiful green eyes. “I can’t remember the last time we made love. I don’t even remember if we did it in our new house.”

  “Then, my dear, I’m right. You have not given your man what he most wants from you. You’ve been so occupied with your boutique and with the children that you have ignored your husband completely. Yes, he has been tending to business, but it’s the business of pleasure that has been keeping him busy. This is a learning experience for you, Jennifer. The fairy tale is over. There never was and never will be a Prince Charming. Men just need to satisfy their biggest need. And well-to-do men like Roberto and John never have a problem getting what they want.”

  “Do you mean to tell me that John has been unfaithful to you, too?”

  “Of course he has. He hasn’t ever personally told me, but it’s something that I knew would eventually happen. You see, when you grow up in a wealthy family like I did, you hear it every day. My father had every maid that came into our house. It didn’t matter whether she was pretty or not. He just wanted his sexual needs satisfied. It was the macho thing to do. My mother was just as naïve as you are. But she knew that by staying married to my father, she would have a comfortable life. She was constantly traveling around the world without him. They had separate bedrooms so he didn’t care whether she was home or not. They stayed married as a front, but everyone in their social circle knew the truth. In fact, all of the men in their social circle were doing the same thing.”

  “But it doesn’t seem to be fair. That’s a double standard. That’s very disrespectful of men to do that. Then why even bother to get married in the first place? It’s not fair to us women. We’re supposed to be their prized possessions and we need to tend to their children. But then who’s meeting our needs?”

  Monika burst into a sarcastic laughter. “Oh Jennifer, I love your innocence so much. It’s just rare to find someone like you in today’s world. Can I ask you another personal question?”

  “Okay, what is it now?”

  “How many men have you made love to besides Roberto?”

  “Monika, I can’t believe you’re asking me that? Now, you’ve really gone too far. Ay Virgencita, please forgive her for asking such a question.”

  Monika laughs again. “Come on Jennifer, and don’t tell me it’s just been Roberto. Enough of the virgin act.”

  “Only if you promise not to tell anyone else. Well, there was this guy in Monterrey who lived in my barrio. It was right before I met Roberto and I was afraid I was getting too old and I hadn’t had sex yet. We got as far as heavy petting, and I touched his private part from outside his jeans. I just couldn’t go past that. My conscience was killing me. I always watched every telenovela and I dreamed of sleeping with todos los galanes. I envied those actresses since they got to feel those chicos calientes. Ay, I don’t want to talk about that stage of my life anymore.”

  Monika laughed and laughed. Jennifer wasn’t so santa after all. Then Monika continued.

  “Well, I went to a Catholic school and I remember I had a mean nun for my religion class. She caught me looking at pictures of some male strippers and she gave me a good spanking. She called my mother who was so embarrassed that she grounded me for a month. I couldn’t leave the house unless I went to school or to mass with her. I was a wild child. In fact, I think I still am. Ha, ha!”

  Jennifer wanted to know more about Monika. She wanted to know why Monika had such different views. “Now it’s my turn to ask you a personal question.”

  “Why certainly. You know I have nothing to hide.”

  “How many other guys have you slept with besides John?”

  “Oh my, I lost count already.” Monika broke into laughter again.

  “You’ve already figured out how wild I was in school. Well, I lost my virginity when I was sixteen. His name was Bruce and he was the captain of the basketball team. He was a tall Anglo guy with blonde hair and blue eyes, and muscles to die for. He was a senior and I was a junior and I had my eye on him since my freshmen year. He had a steady girlfriend for two years. They broke up after he found out she was cheating on him with one of his best friends.

  Monika continued telling Jennifer that she dated here and there but never had a serious boyfriend. She knew what she wanted and she was determined to get it. She wanted Bruce. Monika had that certain charm that conquers any man - and especially a wealthy, beautiful debutante socialite like her. She was always the most popular and the most beautiful girl in her graduating class. Bruce was the most popular senior and he had those all-American looks that are so hard to find in border towns. He reminded her of a young Robert Redford and she knew she was going to get him. His father was one of the more prominent doctors in McAllen and his family was very respected. Monika’s father was also a doctor.

  Monika stopped to drink some more of her iced mocha before she continued.

  “It happened after his senior prom. I was his date and after the dance we went to a local restaurant and then we went to his car. He had two six packs of beer hidden in his car. We went to the back seat and there we popped open all of the cans. He drank about six of them. I didn’t drink one. I pretended to. I wanted to savor this special moment and I wasn’t about to get drunk. He got wasted. I had never seen a naked man before Bruce. I was so nervous. I started undressing him and I could feel the warmth of his body. I kissed him passionately on his lips. Then I slowly took off his shirt and I caressed and kissed his chest. Then I took off his pants and I undressed. I will never forget that first experience. Bruce was finally mine and I was his. He doesn’t remember that first night but we made love throughout the whole summer until he left for college. We broke up that year since he met someone else at Texas A&M. I was devastated. I was elected Homecoming Queen the fall of my senior year and if it wasn’t for those events I would’ve attempted to kill myself. I was truly in love with him. He dumped me for a trashy white girl from a small east Texas town.”

  Monika then told Jennifer that after high school she went to the University of Texas at Austin and that’s when she met her other lover. Raul was his name. He was a Hispanic guy from Dallas who was in law school. He was dark and not so handsome, but according to her he had a body to die for. One night after drinks they just ended up in bed. She wanted to compare the difference between an Anglo and a Hispanic. “He was very good – muy bueno, como un pan caliente.” After that, she said she was a saint until she met John who was getting his pre-med degree at UT. He was her third lover. They lived together for two years before they decided to get married.

  Jennifer was envious at what Monika had just finished telling her. She wanted to have had more experience in her sexuality. She was getting aroused by just listening to Monika.

  “Wow, what a story. I’d never heard anything like that before. But how could you just give yourself to someone without having a commitment?

  “Come on Jennifer, I just wanted to get laid. I always used protection. I love sex. It makes me feel like a complete woman. I knew Bruce had just slept with his girlfriend and until then she had just slept with him. As for Raul, I was older and I asked him to use protection. I did the same with John up until our wedding night. I have always had an open mind about sex and so has John.”

  “So have there been others since you’ve been married to John?” Monika was somehow amused by this question and paused briefly before she answered.

  “It seems like you�
�re finally catching on to the ways of life. Yes, there have been two others. But I will only tell you about one. I’ve had a lover for the last two years. He is ten years younger than I am and he makes me feel like a complete woman. I take care of him very well. He’s my personal trainer, my confidante, my friend, and my papi chulo. He is a personal trainer at the Olmos Park Athletic Club, where I work out. I saw him one day and I said I was going to have him. I guess I never quite got over Bruce. I still have this thing for blonde, blue-eyed guys. Justin has been a true lover and he gives meaning to my life. I just have to have a man that makes me feel good all over. I’m very sensuous and he’s there whenever I need him. He doesn’t need to work anymore. We go to the athletic club together and then he gives me a massage when we get home. Ah, the good life. I couldn’t have it any other way.”

  “Does John know about you and Justin?”

  “Like I told you before, it’s expected. When you’re rich and beautiful you own the world. You want the best and you know you can get it. Marriage is just a façade that society invented. Society frowns on a successful single person. Families are looked up to with honor. Families create dynasties and then these get turned over to the next generation. It’s how we protect our children so they can have the same lifestyle we enjoy. Otherwise our families’ money would be handed over to our husbands’ mistresses. But darling, we have to enjoy ourselves while we can. I can’t be waiting for my husband to come home and fulfill my needs. If he’s not there and I’m in heat I have to find someone who can be in heat with me. And I can afford to have that someone. Ha, Ha!”

  “But don’t you think about your children and how this may affect them if they found out what their mother is doing?”